This May Upset Everyone I Know Who's Ever Been a Server...

...including my mother and a good friend. But I'm suddenly irritated by the entire concept of tipping. Not because I object to the practice of throwing a little love at the person who served you, but because people who work in restaurants are the only people who are universally tipped. (Hairdressers do okay, too, but I don't think they take tips for granted.) All day I bring people books, wrap their gifts, carry old ladies' bags to their cars...and no one considers it necessary to tip me (except for one guy, once, who slipped me a couple bucks, but I wasn't even sure I was allowed to take that). When I was a housekeeper, I cleaned other people's toilets, and I was thrilled if anyone thought to leave a dollar on the nightstand. Yeah, yeah, I know my base wage was more than the legal minimum, and that a server's usually isn't. But it wasn't much more. And did I mention that I cleaned other people's toilets?

It's a double standard, and I don't like it. I don't like it that I have to feel guilty when I can't afford to tip up to society's expectations, and I don't like it that servers are applauded for complaining when that happens.

There's a slippery slope here, and I know it. Because, no, I don't want to have to tip the mail carrier and the fitting room attendant at American Eagle and the cashier at the grocery store. But I would feel more comfortable about eating out if servers didn't act entitled to generous tips. Got stiffed by the last person you served? Welcome to the last five years of my life.