Saturday, February 09, 2008

The Best Part of Waking Up

My bowl of Cheerios was at that annoying stage where there is so little cereal floating in the milk that the spoon refuses to capture more than a few Cheerios at a time. Because I didn't want to spend the next 45 minutes eating, I drank a mouthful of cereal straight from the bowl. I should be an expert at this thing I've been doing for more than twenty years, but today one Cheerio went farther back in my throat than I was comfortable with, and--bonus!--I sucked up a small piece of banana that I didn't know was still in the bowl. This combination made my gag reflex very excited while my mouth was very full. So I tried to gently clear my throat to loosen the rogue Cheerio.

It didn't work.

Unless by "work," you mean that all the milk in my mouth, and a couple of Cheerios too, suddenly spewed from my mouth and nose with surprising velocity. The cat was so freaked out she jumped off my lap, and I haven't seen her since.

All I have to say for myself now is that I'm glad I was planning on cleaning this room today anyway. I was sitting at the computer desk when it happened, and everything--everything--on the desk got milked. Of course I wiped it up with a paper towel already, but this is milk. Milk scoffs at paper towels. In fact, since our calendar hangs on the wall behind the desk, I'm kind of looking forward to it not being February anymore.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Clink said...

Ok I am laughing...but that is only because you didn't choke! hmm I wonder what the milky keyboard is going to do to your 'words per minute'...

2/09/2008 2:15 PM  
Blogger Laura B. said...

Absolutely beautiful.
What a writer you are, Amber! I'm laughing my ass off right now, and I had to read it out loud to Adam.
Awesome.

I'm looking forward to it not being February, too, by the way.

2/10/2008 2:28 PM  
Blogger John from Grand Haven, MI said...

milk scoffs at paper towels? do you think milk calls the paper towel "punk" as in, "ain't no punk paper towl going to wipe me up!"

2/12/2008 6:55 AM  

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